The New Year

Well here we are the start of a new year. In the past I used to think that when I was in prison I was in the safest place to be on holidays.Which then I was. But today I know that God has different plans for me. Take tonight for instance. I will be going to The Cowboy Church of Ellis County with my future wife Julie. I am excited. I think tonight I will be in the safest place. As you know I have been sober for 7 1/2 years. I don't have anything against drinking, as a matter of fact I love making fun of drunk people. lol. I do have a problem with people who drink and drive. So tonight if you feel you have to drink, PLEASE PLEASE use a designated driver. If you want to drive drunk just because you don't want to leave your car car. Call a tow truck. It will get you and your car home safer and cheaper. $75.00 is a whole lot cheaper than thousands of dollars. So please be safe and be smart. God Bess you all in this new year.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

God Has a Reason

If you don't believe God has a reason for everything, then check this out. Yesterday I went to pick my mom up from the airport. When I got there I realized I didn't have my house keys & mom left hers @ the house. I thought I left them @ Julie's. So we went home by way of Julie's house. We were going south bound on I-45 just before the Loop 12 bypass. As we were driving I saw a bunch of white smoke and a car landing on the shoulder of the road. I stopped to see if I could help , I did take combat medic training in the Army. So , I know how to administer first aide. One car moved into the lane in front of the car that flipped. She nipped the front end of the car and both lost control and went onto the shoulder of the road. No one was seriously injured. No blood or any significant injuries. So I asked if I could pray for them. One was a teenage boy who looked shaken up. Then I went and prayed for Katrina, the college student in the car that caused the accident. All she could do is complain that her dad was going to be mad for wrecking the car. I told her that her dad would rather have her alive than have a car in one piece. So , I asked her if I could pray for her. All this came from a guy who hates to pray in front of people. Especially in public and doing it one on one. We left. Went to Julie's house . I couldn't find the keys. Then I remembered that the keys were in the console of mom's car. You see God had a reason for me to be on that high way that day at that time.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

From: Nan To: Julie Clark Sent: Saturday, December 27, 2008 11:25:09 AMSubject:
I HOPE IT'S OK THAT I LOOKED AT JERRY'S BLOG. I FOUND IT IN MY FAVORITES WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE. I NOW KNOW WHY YOU ARE SO HAPPY. MOST OF US DON'T HAVE A CHANCE TO KNOW FOR SURE WHAT THE OTHER THINKS OR FEELS WHEN THEY GET ENGAGED. YOU ARE BOTH VERY BLESSED. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER AND THAT IT WAS GOD'S PLAN.

I CRIED TWICE, ONCE WHEN READING WHAT HE WROTE THEN READING WHAT YOU WROTE. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS I'VE EVER READ AND HOPE NEITHER OF YOU FEEL THAT I WAS EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS.

LOVE AND BLESSING TO YOU BOTH.

MOM


This is so cool. This is an email Julie got from her mom. Please don't ever think you are eavesdropping Nan.That is what this BLOG is for. So people can see what I am thinking. Thank you for believing in the two of us. We love you very much. And feel free to comment on anything that I put in this blog. God is good. All we have to do is let Him show up and show off.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Christmas has come and gone. It's funny how we anticipate Christmas all year but when it gets close we want it to hurry up and get over with. This years Christmas was so wonderful for me. Not only did I get to play Jesus in our church play. I got to spend it with my future wife , her daughter Shelby, and my kids TJ & Maggie. It was one of the best Christmas's I have ever had. None of this would be possible with out God. It is all his fault. I blame Him. And why shouldn't I ? As Christians we blame Him when things don't go our way. So why not blame Him when they go the right way ?

I pray that everyone had a good Christmas ( blame God ) and I wish everyone a Happy New Year.

Check out my cool looking bowling pin that Julie gave me. Hook'em Horns. Beat Ohio State.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas everyone. I pray that everyone has a wonderful Christmas. And gets all the toys they asked for. lol I am so Blessed to have TJ, Maggie, Julie and Shelby here at my house for Christmas. I do miss my mom being here though. It's just not the same without her. But she is where she needs to be. With my brother Dan & his family.

I'm sorry I haven't put the video of me in the church play on here yet. But I can't seem to get it to download right. I get the sound but no video. I guess I have to break down and have my teenager ( TJ ) show dad how to do it. lol

I pray that everyone has a great New Year. God Bless all of you.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Christmas Eve

Today is Christmas Eve. This year is going to be great. My son & daughter. TJ & Maggie will be here for the night. Also my fiance Julie & her daughter Shelby will be here with us . It's always a blessing to be with my kids @ this time of year. The joy I see in them while here with me for Christmas is way to much for words.

This will be mine and Julie's first Christmas together. I am so excited. I love her very much. And to be able to spend this time with her and Shelby will be many to come.

God has truly blessed me. To actually be able to be here for Christmas with my kids, Julie, & Shelby is more than I could ever ask for. God has brought me such a long way. I just want to cry to know where I was @ 7 years ago. A guy who cared for no one and wanted to do my own thing. I feel that God has brought me full circle. I'm not as exactly where he wants me to be, but I'm getting there. For Him to take me from a drunken convict to a place in my life where He allowed my to portray Him in our church play. How many people can say that. It was such a humbling experience to play Jesus. Thank You God for allowing me to do this.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

This is Saturday

Well it's Saturday morning and I've finished my first week at my new job. It is going good. I'm so glad to be employed. Here are a couple pix of what I do and what I use at work. ............ Now I need to get to bed. I need a nap. Busy day today. I have play practice at 2:30 then the play is at 6:00. I hope all everyone can make. Good night

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

AN AWESOME FUTURE WIFE

God has truly blessed me with a God fearing Christian woman. This is what she wrote on her myspace blog. I love you Julie Wayne.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Blessed beyond measure! Category: Romance and Relationships
As I sit here today posting a new blog, my heart is so full! Have you ever felt feelings that were just so big that you can't find words? Have you ever felt so blessed that all you can do is be still and quiet and say, "Thank you Lord"?
Well, that's where I am today and have been for the last few months, especially since Friday when my "best bud", the one who makes me laugh when I don't even want to smile, the one that has shown this woman (who used to think I had the "patience of Job") what patience, and tolerance really are, the one who calms me just by sitting by my side and holding my hand, proposed. Speechless? God bless him, he must have heard every second ticking on his watch because this "never has nothing to say about anything" woman could not get a word out........even the ONE WORD he was wanting to hear......LOL. Well, of course, I DID say "YES", but after what must have seemed like an eternal pause. I saw our friendship years ago, I saw the years apart, I saw the last nine months since we've been re-united all in a fast-forward blur and then I looked into the eyes of the man that I can't imagine not having by my side for the rest of my days. Love, gratitude, joy, happiness and that feeling of "everything is ok in my world when he's in it" came together in a ball that (for lack of other words) "short circuited" my brain......I couldn't cry, I couldn't laugh, I couldn't even speak. If he could have only read my thoughts in those moments, it may have made the wait for "Yes" more bearable.....LOL.
I have to give credit where it's due, though, because were it not for God, I wouldn't have the honor of being his "best bud", the one he chose to be by his side, the one he wants to spend the rest of his days with. After being told he was back "in town", I struggled for months with whether or not to contact him, I had lived such a life that I knew I had to be careful about my choices of WHO I allow to be a part of my life. I had heard of his struggles, as well, and tried to forget about contacting him not knowing "where he was" in regards to his struggles. It would work for a couple of months, but something (or Someone) would always bring his name back to mind. I prayed and prayed for guidance and finally just resolved to myself that there was a reason I couldn't put him out of my mind and felt the NEED to find him. If nothing else, just as support and friendship and to know that I may be able to reach out the understanding hand of someone who's been there and knows that kind of struggle. After several months of failing to find him, I finally tried MySpace. I thought it was kinda corny, but I figured, "what the heck, everything else has failed, I'll try this last effort" and it would have been my last effort. I didn't have any other way of knowing how to contact him or find him. I logged on, created a "quickie" profile (and for ME that's a BIG deal because I'm probably the most computer illiterate person I know....lol) and found him, and he was online, too. I thought, "Wow, ok.....Guess this is as big a sign as any" (lol), shot him a quick message and well, the rest is "history"...lol.
Seeing him that first time was like 22 years hadn't passed. Oh, we've both gotten older, alright.....lol......Him with some gray that wasn't there back then and well, all us girls know what happens to certain areas of our bodies after 2 kids and gravity (lol) but the friendship was back right where it left off.
We've not been without our share of struggles together either. We've had some chaos and craziness, alright! But the beautiful part of it is that regardless of what has come at us, and those closest to me know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.....(I mean I experienced evil in many forms including an es-husband, but this particular kind of evil we've had to endure has been by far the worst I've ever known especially coming from someone I don't even know....). But with every blow, every crazy, chaotic chapter, we've only grown stronger together. Taking the "moral high road" and looking for God's justice in this not our own.
Sounds a little mushy, gooshy, huh? (lol). I have to say that for years after my divorce, I resolved to never be a moosy, gooshy girly girl.....not that I ever really was, but I realized I had built a wall (or a FORT....lol) around my heart. No one was EVER going to hurt me again, because I was happy being alone (a tough place to get to, but still, I truly was). I resolved to myself that even in the Bible, it talks about how some people are just not meant to be married because their walk with God suffers when they are involved with someone on that personal a level and, boy, I could see where mine had and thought that it was just best that I not even think about it. All the while I knew in my heart that someday, I'd really like to be able to share my life with someone again but he would HAVE to be a Godly man! One who has a personal relationship with the Lord. When I got lonely, I talked to people, I tried to put that negative energy into reaching out to others. I poured myself into my relationship w/ those I had neglected for so many years like God, my daughter, my parents, and friends I had abandoned or neglected.
Something very special happens when you turn your will and life over to God's care. How many times had I tried to "make my life happen", make relationships be something they were never meant to be. I'd heard the example of what I had been doing in my life, best put this way "People coming into your life are like trees. Some people are leaves on that tree. They are only there for a season, but when the wind blows, they are gone. Some people are like the branches on that tree, they can weather a little wind but when the big storm comes along, the branch breaks and they are gone. The tree cannot survive without roots. Those are what gives that tree everything it needs to survive the storms, come what may. That tree may get snapped off in the middle but those roots are still there to see that it still gets everything it needs to flourish again. Nobody has to see the roots, nobody has to know what those roots gives that tree in order for it to live but that tree cannot survive without them."I didn't understand how important roots were until I allowed God to show me who was what and accept that in my life.
I thank God for not letting me forget him, because he has been such a blessing in my life. His walk with God is strong and it encourages me every day. We serve our Lord together and separately and support each other in those efforts. It's an amazing thing to have a God centered relationship with the one you can't imagine being without!

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

GOD is AWESOME

I really do not know what I've done to deserve such an awesome God. He has truly blessed me in more ways than I could imagine. 1) He supplied me a job when me and many others are getting laid off. Even if it's @ a hi-tech redneck salvage yard. My boss hired me as contract labor until all my paper work went through. IE: drug test & background check. He even called me this morning on my way home @ 6 am to tell me that all my paper work came through and that I can go ahead and be hired as regular employee on Monday. 2) He has provided me with the best wife to be that I could ask for. I'll post something she wrote in my next blog. She is such a Godly woman. 3) He is allowing me to play the role of His Son in our church play. Which I am not Worthy to do, but who really is. I guess I'm the next best thing. LOL. Thank you God for being soooooooo AWESOME

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

It's a Monday

Well it's another Monday. Tonight I start my new job. I'm excited & I can't wait. Julie & I can't be anymore happier. I love her so much. Then this weekend sat & sun night is our church Christmas Musical. I really do not know how I can feel the shoes of Jesus Christ. Man, what shoes to feel. I don't think anyone is worthy of playing Jesus Christ. I have so many different feelings about playing this role. I feel humbled, ashamed, proud, excited, scared, and many more to mention. I just pray that He would be as proud of me playing Him as I am of actually playing him. Thank you Lord for allowing me the HONOR.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Getting Married

Well tonight I made official. Tonight on 12-12-08 I asked my girlfriend Julie (Wayne) Clark to be my wife. And she said yes. We have not set a date yet. We are taking our time and will set a date for sometime in 2010. God is awesome to have given me a girl like Julie. She is everything that I wanted in a wife. She is caring, loving, and exciting. She is my best Bud. I love her with all my heart.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

New Job

God is AWESOME!!!! I went for a job interview today and I got he job. I will start on Monday. Prayer works. Like I said before if this is the job God wanted me to have then He will allow it and He did. See, I said to NEVER GIVE UP.............


JT

Job Searching

This afternoon I'm going to see about a job. Please pray that God leads me to get this job. It is so hard to get a job or keep a job with the X of being an ex-felon on your back. Society wants us to succeed and make while out on parole, but they don't want to give us a job.What they don't know is we have to have a job while out on parole. So we will do what we can to keep a job. Be there and be on time, do the work we are asked to do, and try not to complain.One thing I do know is that I will NEVER GIVE UP.God will give me the job that He wants me to have.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Here the drawings of Colton Cain. Please let me know what you think of them?

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Drawings

I just finished to drawings of Colton Cain of Waxahachie. He is an all state baseball player and even played for the Jr. National team. ( I will post them later today ) Colton's mom is giving them to his dad for Christmas. I love to draw and I love sports. I thank God all the time for allowing me to be able to put them together. For those of you who don't know I learned how to draw in prison. We were on locked down for 3 months. I was really bored and I got the news paper sent to me by my dad @ the time. Since I stayed in the sports page, I figured what the heck. So I looked at a picture and started drawing it. My first drawings are REALLY bad. But those will be the ones that are worth the most when I die. lol. I have never had a class or formal training. I used to say that I am self taught. Because I was the only one in that 6x9 cell. I have come to realize that I wasn't by myself in that 6x9 cell. God was there with me the whole time. So I say that I'm God taught........He will never leave you nor forsake you.

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Here are a few drawings of mine. While in prison God showed me that I had a talent to draw. I just wish I didn't have to go to prison to learn this......People ask me me how did I learn to draw like this? Did I take classes or go to school for it or what? I used to tell them that I was self taught, but after thinking about it I couldn't teach my self to do this. I had no clue how to do what I do on paper with a pencil. Now I tell people that I am God taught. Just remember your never to old to learn new tricks.........just ask God!!!

NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Monday 8 December

Well today is Monday the 8th of December. This year Christmas will be different for me in many ways. This year my mom will be in N.C. with my brother Dan which is awesome for the 2 of them. I am so glad that they will be together. Me and my 2 kids TJ & Maggie will have Christmas with just the 3 of us. This will be a new experience for me. One that I am very excited about. Then it will be very different for me this because I have the AWESOME honor to play the role of JESUS CHRIST in our church Christmas Musical. I am excited but humbled to be able to do this. How in the world can I feel these shoes. With my history I am not worthy. I think how in the world can a old drunk convict play this role? Then I realized God's plan is never wrong. Who am I to question Him. I've questioned Him way to many times before and it never worked out. I trust Him today and always will.


NEVER GIVE UP

JT

Patience

My older brother Mike once told me to be careful what you pray for, you just might get it. It's amazing how true that is. When I was in prison I prayed that God would give me Patience. I wish I would have paid more attention to Mike back then. Every since I asked God for that it seems like He's teaching it to me more and more. Take for instance today, I free lance as a sports reporter for the local newspaper. Well I haven't received my check yet. At this time of year being unemployed I really need or I mean I want the check. So, I called the paper to see what was going on. They said they lost my W-9 form and needed to come in and fill out another one. UUUUGGGHHH!!!! Now I wont get my check until next week. That makes me want to think, man .... I HATE stupid people. Then I realizes I was stupid once before. But in all honesty I guess I wont need that check til next week, cause I would probably spend it on something I don't need before I spend on something that would be useful. I still don't look stupid people though..........

Oh .... I'm going to my first Christmas party of the year tonight. I'm excited. It's great to be able to be free to do stuff like this.
Never Give Up

J.T.

Advent Devotional Guide

Our church did an Advent Devotional Guidefor this year. This is the one that I wrote for the guide. It was on December 1st. Let me know what you think.

Come back to the Lord your God, because He is kind and shows mercy. He doesn't become angry quickly, and He has great love. Joel 2:13

Lives are changed by the choices we make, whether good or bad. When we make choices, we must pay the consequences or reap the benefits. In years past I've made my share of bad choices, one of which was to drink and drive. Making that choice cost me a total of seven years in prison.

In 1998, I received a two year sentence and served the entire two years in prison. I was released in 2000. In 2001, I got another DWI and received a 20 year sentence, of which I served 5 years before being paroled.

While in prison in 2003, I realized that not the life I wanted to live. I realized that even though I had not hurt or killed anyone with drinking and driving, I had caused a lot of people in my life pain and heartache. The people in my life became victims. My wife became a victim, she had the responsibility of taking care of our two children alone and eventually divorced me. My children became victims because their dad wasn't around to be dad. My parents became victims because they took care of me while I was in prison. All of these people suffered hardships because of the selfish choices I made.

One morning at 2:00 am in my 6 by 9 foot cell I was reading a letter from my mom. I had written a letter of despair and hopelessness to her. She wrote back to me words I will never forget," I am not giving up on you; God is not giving up on you ; and YOU BETTER NOT GIVE UP ON YOU!"

The decision to have God in my life turned out to be the best choice I ever made. I am still reaping the benefits of my choice. While I was in prison God revealed to me that I had a talent I never knew I had. God gave me the gift of drawing. I used to think I was self taught because I never had formal training, but today I know that I am God Taught because He is the one who gave me the talent to draw. God continues to teach me everyday.

At that moment I understood I couldn't keep doing things the way I had done them. I knew I had to have help, and I turned to God. I wept and prayed with all my heart. God revealed to me that life is like running a company. Most companies aren't run by one person. He showed me that if I continued to run my life by myself, I would eventually go belly up. My life needed a partner, so I chose to let God run my life - my "company".

I was paroled in 2006, and since that time I have been speaking for Victim's Impact Panel of Mother's Against Drink Driving monthly. I participated in Palmer High School's production of " Shattered Dreams", and I speak to youth groups as often as I can.

I still don't always make the best choices in life, but I am now able to learn from them and make better choices. My favorite Scripture is Philippians 3:12-14. A portion of it says " I will continue to run the race with God's help and choose to NEVER GIVE UP."

First Blog

Welcome to my blog. This is my first one. Life could be a lot better but it could also be a lot worse. This time is very busy even though I do not have a job. ( if any one knows of any one hiring please let me know). Last night I spoke @ the Waxahachie Driving school. To 15 year olds that are trying to get their license. Next week I think I have to go to Mideothian Driving school I think.

On the 20th and 21st of December 2008@ 6:00 pm both nights is our church Christmas Musical at First Baptist Church Waxahachie. I would like to invite everyone to come see it . Because God has allowed me , A drunk and convicted felon to play the role of Jesus Christ. So life is good today.

Never Give Up
J.T.